The End

It's been fun, but I think it is time to call it quits.  I haven't been posting too much and I think the readership is dwindling so maybe it is a good time.  And these last few years have been quite a ride.

Other than the days I first accepted Christ, I think these last few years have changed me more than any other time in my life.  Yes, I changed a lot through primary education years.  And I grew a lot in College.  But I these last years have changed my heart so much, I wonder sometimes if I could recognize parts of myself.  I've seen great joys and victories in peoples lives, and also gotten a much closer look at the callousness of humans hearts and the unfeeling viciousness of this world.  I guess I learned a lot.  And I guess accepting reality is better than embracing a facade.  And it enables me to better protect those that I love, and that what is precious.

I guess I'll leave you with one more song.  Maybe I'll use the site just to post songs if I write any more.

Like a leaf in the sea.

My life is tossed in the breeze.

The world tries, to pull God from me.

His plan I just cannot see.

But I found…

At times it would get rough, my strength start to stall.

The waves that were crashing, they taught me to call

On the God who was faithful, to guide through it all.

And I’d end up right where I should be.

That’s right where He wanted me to be.

It’s a miracle in this world

God grows a boy and a girl

To grow to lives of maturity

In Christ, that’s how it should be.

So dear…

My life is not perfect, you know that is true.

But I’ll give it my all, in my future with you.

With lives loving our God, He’ll work it for good.

And I don’t know what future we’ll see.

But we’ll trust wherever God leads.

We’re growing to one flesh, and relearning to live.

To worship the God who is:

It’s the Spirit, who reminds us, how we should live.

It’s the Father, who loves us, and gave us the gift.

Of His Son who, saved our lives with His.

And I don’t know all that we will see.

But we’ll be with Him through all eternity.

Motivation

Recently I was watching Steve Job’s (co-founder of Apple) 2005 Stanford commencement speech.  Although I wouldn’t say that he is a moral role model, I think he had some wise things to say.  One thing that he stressed was to do what you love.  And to find out what it is, if you haven’t figured that out yet.  Because that is the only way to do really great work, is to love what you do.  And that is true in and outside of “work”. 

It reminds me of a talk I gave recently to my small group about the anointing of Jesus by a sinful woman (Luke 7:36-50).  There are obviously a lot of lessons that can be taken away from that passage.   I think one of the most important things to take away from the passage is to understand to magnitude of her demonstration, and her motivation.  Perhaps demonstration isn’t the best word to describe what she did, because she wasn’t performing for anyone.  She was just doing what flowed from her heart.

What she did was pour perfume that likely had the monetary value of her life savings on Jesus’ feet.  Then she wiped His feet with her hair.  In that time women didn’t even bring their hair down except in the presence of her husband, so this was shocking to everyone there.  But this testifies to the fact that she really wasn’t thinking about what the people around her were thinking.  She was focused on Jesus.

In life, I think it is important to recognize when you are being motivated out of fear or duty and when you are being motivated out of love.  I think one of the differences, is that people motivated by duty and fear do everything they should do.  People motivated by love, do everything they can do.  Even though duty and fear are capable stop-gap measures, nothing can take the place of the ultimate motivator.

BTW, if you want to hear the whole Steve Job's speech, it is here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc

Waiting for Waves That Never Come

As I sat bobbing on my surfboard off Carlsbad today, I had some interesting thoughts about the parallels between catching waves and living life.  I noticed something pretty obvious, yet profound.  You see, often there are a few good locations where the waves are breaking well, places where you can catch a good wave.  Often these places are also crowded with surfers, so I don't always jump into the line at first.  Sometimes there are other spots that don't look so bad.  But after a while I realize, that they aren't very good places to catch waves.

A part of me wants to wait, sitting on my board.  Because maybe some good waves will break where I am, if I'm patient.  I want to believe that I'm in a good place. 

But the truth is, it doesn't matter how long I wait.  I'm in the wrong place.  There are no waves coming and the sooner I realize this, the better.  It's funny, because in other circumstances it would be an okay place to catch a wave, except that other people are catching the wave earlier (in the good location), so I can't jump on it also (or we would collide).  So I sit, get excited, get disappointed, and wait.  Catching a wave does require patience, but also has everything to do with being in the right spot, recognizing where to be, and when.  Because if you are in the wrong place, it doesn't matter how long you wait.  You will wait forever.  Unless you recognize the truth.  I don't know if I can really convey what it is like, if you've never tried to catch a wave.  But drifting in the waves today, I thought about how much of these thoughts parallel real life.

Change of Tune

I finally was able to record some of my songs with Chris Tou's help (Chris you're awesome!).  So, ... I hope you like it :)

Here Tonight

All around, they sing and shout, praise to you under this starry night.  Why is their joy so bright?  Tonight.

They seem to know, seem to have, a love that I cannot understand, like some master plan, inside.

And now, back at home, I close the door, searching for the truth.

And I, I close my eyes, and I find my sight, in You.

Here tonight, I want to know what it really means to be here with You.

I’m losing all that I am for You in me, can you tell me who I’m really supposed to be.

Years go by, it feels so right, knowing it’s all in His control, You’d think that I would know, no fear.

But life remains, not fun and games, but all the things that still weight me down.

I feel like I should’ve found my way.

And now, on the floor, I can take no more.  Is this life too much for me?

But You, carry my soul, I can’t let go, irresistible to me and I say…

Here tonight, I want to know what it really means to be here with you.

I’m losing all that I am for You in me, can you tell me who I’m really supposed to be.

As hopes become history, I pass through time.

But wherever I go, You’re on my mind.

Here tonight, I want to know what it really means to be here with you.

I’m losing all that I am for You in me, can you tell me who I’m really supposed to be.

Colors and the Sounds

Watching hands strike 3am

Dead of night the noise is deafening

Praying I could figure this out, or make it go away.

Is this how I should live.

I had so much to give.

And a talent never used, is useless indeed, this is just the same.

You think it’s strange it’s so hard, to start to let go, of the words I never got to say.  Questioning the choices that I made.

With tears in my eyes, I start to see, that the world won’t ever look just the same.  The colors and the sounds they’re changing today.

Godly thoughts trying to be.

Hoping that you just might see.

Guarding hearts just doesn’t feel like love but it is.

I’m sorry I couldn’t see.

How you needed me to be.

I only wanted the best and dared to believe I knew what it was.

You think it’s strange it’s so hard, to start to let go, of the words I never got to say.  Questioning the choices that I made.

With tears in my eyes, I start to see, that the world won’t ever look quite the same.  The colors and the sounds they’re changing today.

Well I’ll start to let go, and fall on the faith, that the Light of the World came to save.  Remembering the hope that He gave.

Well I can’t change the past, if mistakes were made, I’ll trust that He’ll make it ok.  Tomorrow I will wake up to a new day.

The colors and the sounds, they’ve changed today.

IOUSA

Did you see the movie?  Neither did I.  But I did see the 30 minute shortened clip at:

www.iousathemovie.com

on the main page.

Yes, it is a little long (but entertaining).  I think it is worth watching, unless you already know that our country is heading toward a 50 trillion dollar federal debt in the next couple decades.  That'z a lota money.  And that's bad.  What does it mean?  Most likely, devaluation of our currency as we print money to pay it back, much higher taxes, and other countries that own our debt can push us around.  It means our children will have a much poorer quality of life.

What can we do about it?  Well, the easiest thing to apply is to live within our means.  In the last couple years, americans have had a negative savings rate.  And some day, we will have to pay the bills.  Or our children.  My favorite part of the clip is the book: "Don't Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford".  Well, in this area I'm probably preaching to the choir.

Also, we can support politicians who don't want to contribute to increased government debt and financial irresponsibility.

And we have to accept that life is hard.  It takes hard work.  I lot of people think that we deserve to do a small amount of work and get a lot of money (like flipping a house).  We can't decrease taxes and keep government programs.  I mean, we can in the short term, but it just hurts us or our children later when we need to pay back the deficit.  We can't say that we need to spend more (or the same) on education and not raise taxes or cut other government programs.  The sooner we realize and accept that life takes hard work, the sooner we will be able to find jobs that add value to our country and the more stable our economy will become.  Well, you don't have to agree with me, but at least every American should know where our federal debt stands.